There
is always an expectation that we will get a return on our investment.
No one wants to be like the guy who made a million dollars – out of two
million! Most of the time we do get a return, in line with the saying,
“You only get out of something, what you put into it.” That is for sure
true in a marriage.
Many
people go into marriage 50/50. I put in my half and she puts in her
half and together we make a whole out of it. It doesn’t work that way!
Marriage is for two adults who each bring their healthy whole and God
puts their 100/100 together to make one new whole. The math doesn’t add
up but that is how it works in God’s kingdom.
Margaret
and I regularly invest into our marriage. Recently we went to “A
Weekend To Remember” marriage conference sponsored by Family Life Canada. We have been asked, “Do you really need that after almost 30 years together?” Here is what we get from our investment:
1. Remember the basics!
You don’t get to finesse the puck into the net if you can’t get to the
net with the puck! (That’s a hint for all you sports minded dudes.) It
is amazing how we can forget the basic elements that make a
relationship work well. We need reminders about time and communication
and our differences.
2. Get a handle on it!
We often come away with a new way to verbalize issues. We have words
to put to things we are dealing with, for ourselves and for others we
talk to. We have a handle to put on a problem.
3. Resources!
There are some great books out there that are standards, and there are
new ones that bring perspective and insight. I picked up one on “Coffee dates for couples.” Time with my friend and coffee – now that’s a win/win!!
4. Away with reason!
No, I don’t mean get rid of “reason,” I mean get away with purpose.
It’s good to go away, not just for time as a couple, but to take time to
think and talk about us as a couple. “How are we doing?” is a great
question to ask regularly, even when the answer means we have some work
to do.
Even
after 30 years we have more to learn and apply. We have more to learn
to help others. It is worth the investment! Want to invest a little
yourself? There is another “Weekend To Remember” in Niagara Falls in
February. That sounds like another win/win! Now is the time to plan!
For more information go to www.powertochange.com